Hit me baby one more time!

Sorry for the rather cheesy headline, all I’m trying to say is that I want to be pregnant again! I took really long the first time to get pregnant — first, there were the years we didn’t want a baby, and then the ones when we wanted one but weren’t being able to conceive. But good things come to those who wait. I had the loveliest baby in the womb. And so, my pregnancy was such a smooth ride. I loved being pampered. I loved the sleepless nights because I ended up reading so much then. I loved having something to look forward to. I loved all the happiness that surrounded me then. I loved the last days of solitude before the baby came and took over our lives with his cries and laughter. And just for those reasons I could be pregnant again.

But I don’t think I’m ready yet for another baby. No, not at all. My almost 18-month-old keeps me busy enough. And I cannot imagine just now forsaking the joy of running after him to cuddle a baby growing inside me. Forget all that, having another baby is nowhere on our plan. And The Guy says I will have to look for another man if I want to have another baby!

But that’s because he knows nothing of the joys of carrying a baby. I was wary of speaking about my pregnancy when I was carrying Arjun, for fear that I would jinx it. But now that that’s not a possibility, I can say how much I enjoyed being pregnant. I fell in love then with the little bundle that would kick and writhe inside me, making me aware of my body like I’d never felt before. And that’s one of those things that The Guy — an extremely hands-on dad and sensitive husband — will never experience. And so, he’ll never know why it is that I want to get pregnant again.

I sometimes think I’m making a dangerous wish — what if it comes true! But the heart has its reasons, which reason knows nothing of!


2 responses »

  1. Exactly my thoughts.I can so understand it. I still miss being preg even after 2 kids.
    My first one was born pretty preterm, so I very badly wanted a second one not just to have a sibling for my son but also to go thru this wonderful phase “completely”
    And then after my daughter was born, i enjoyed that phase so much that after she was born, I had a feeling of emptyness for a while. I enjoyed the feeling of her within me, her kicks, my talking to her.
    I still miss it but with 2 kids, I don’t think I have even an ounce of energy left to go thru it all over again 🙂

    • I get where you’re coming from with wanting a second one just to enjoy the experience completely. I think that too — that I’d probably be able to enjoy my second time round more because I’ll just be easier on myself.

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