Motherhood for beginners

4.5 months into this strangely exhilarating world of motherhood makes me feel I’m equipped to write about Motherhood 101. And even if you don’t think you need a guide to first time mommyhood, this will just tell about how I’ve been coping up with everything.

# There’s an umblical cord that connects the mom and the baby in the womb. The moment they snap that cord, it’s as if an invisible cord replaces it — one that connects your heart to the baby’s. In some ways, it’s more vital than the cord that they cut at birth… What else explains the instant emotional connect the mum and baby feel?

#The first one month, or 40 days, were like a rollercoaster ride, with highs and lows. And then life just became a joy ride!

# I was prepared for a lot of stuff that taking care of a newborn entails, but no one ever told me about what a challenge breastfeeding is. It’s the single most emotionally and physically daunting part of motherhood. For some, not so much, I believe, but definitely was for me in the initial months. Which is not to say I gave up. No, I didn’t. I wept and cried and scoured the internet for help and tried every conceivable trick to make it work. And after a harrowing first two months, ahem, it magically became all alright! Now, I can’t imagine weaning him off!

# Unsolicited advice is the mainstay of social interactions of new moms. Hyper moms will scare you, cool moms will tell you to relax, and some variety of men who’ve never reared kids will tell you what to eat, how to feed, blah blah! I’ve finally developed a selective absorption mechanism to keep my sanity.

# Guilt. How do you ever get rid of it once you’re a mom?

# Sleepless nights are not what they’re made out to be. My biggest fear before Arjun was born was that I’ll never be able to cope with sleepless nights. Because my 8-10hrs of sleep used to be sacrosanct. And admittedly, the first month was tiring to put it mildly. But it gets better: one, babies learn to sleep a tad longer after a while, but more importantly, your body learns to do without uninterrupted sleep. If I could manage, anyone can.

# There are just two kinds of moms: those who crib and those who don’t. I love being the latter 🙂 I hyperventilate, yes. I shed copious tears at the slightest sign of distress to my baby, I lose sleep over his whims, but I do not crib.

# The internet is a wonderful place for new moms. In fact, there’s a surfeit of information out there. But thankfully, most of it seems trustworthy, especially since it’s coming from real moms. It’s especially great since mother and childcare resources in our country are near pathetic, more so in cities like Lucknow. I mean, unlike in other places, there’s nothing like a lactation consultant here and the ‘good’ paediatricians are just super busy. Google seems like a God-sent saviour then.

# Mum’s the word when you’re a mum. If there’s one person in the world I can trust my baby with, it’s my mom. It could be something to do with how we think if we turned out ok, Mom can help my baby turn out right as well. Which does NOT mean you agree with everything your mom says and does… No, not at all. But if someone else was saying and doing those things, you’d have zero tolerance. With ma, it’s all ok in the end 🙂

# The baby’s first cold seemed like the end of the world to me. He woke up one night with a racking cough and I could do zilch to make it okay. I couldn’t hold back those tears after he’d spent half a day coughing and losing his appetite. After that first cold though, you realise it DOES get ok. Yes, the cough will go away and the baby will get his appetite back, all in good time.

# Babies are clever! Very. They ensnare their mothers into a ma ki mamta trap. How? They’ll be quiet in ma’s lap, and wailing in anyone else’s. They’ll look at you till your heart melts and begins to flow warm love. They’ll put their head on your shoulder and simply be at peace, like this was the place they’d been looking for. Oh yes, even if you think you’re not going to give in, you do! And so you know how it is for me trying to fathom how I’m ever going to return to work.

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15 responses »

  1. Welcome back!….Even though there is nothing new and different in what you shared……its still different:) just like every individual is different…every mom is different……sharing is a joy keep doing it..:)

  2. Welcome back….so nice to hear you are settling down. i kinda agreed to all that you wrote. and babies are clever, very very clever and if its a baby girl she will wrap you around her little finger from day one. oh i am missing her now:-(

  3. Glad to see you back here and read your experiences. Even though I’m not a mom I can completely relate to how you would have felt at the coughing bout – I couldn’t stand my niece doing it and realized how helpless one feels.
    Lots of love to Arjun and happiness around you guys. Njoy!

    • Hi Tina, I think my siblings made for such poised parents that I wasn’t prepared for this onslaught of distress at my baby’s first cold! But I know better now 🙂

  4. My sister too had a lot of help from internet ..all the forums etc. As she (a big sleeper) tells me “Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed. ~Linda Wooten. It is true- no matter how ill prepared you think you are, you will rise to the occasion.”

  5. ditto on 3,5,7,8,10 & 11 !!!

    at 11: I always was sure I would get back to work post 6 months at max but today it’s been a year and my heart still says a no from within to take up full time assignments 🙂 such is motherhood,yeah?

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