Monthly Archives: June 2011

I wouldn’t want to be pregnant and Aishwarya

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I wouldn’t want to be Aishwarya and pregnant. I’m just saying I’d hate to have so much undue attention on my pregnancy the way poor Aishwarya Rai Bachchan does these days. No, I’m not defending her either, because I’m not her fan or anything close. But I think my pregnancy is such a personal thing, I wouldn’t want it dissected to pieces by the media. Or made jokes of on all platforms. I understand that it’s the price the celebs pay for stardom, but seriously, if I were in her shoes, I would ask – why can’t stardom come with a privacy clause?

I’m very uncomfortable with the idea of discussing my pregnancy, or it being discussed by people who have nothing to do with me. It bothers me as a woman to think that another woman should have to go through it. A lot of people say, what’s the point of hiding something that can’t be hidden. True. But what’s the point of going and announcing it to people who think it’s fodder for their gossip?

A certain somebody from school, who I haven’t met since I passed out of Class X – which was way back in 1996(!) – and who doesn’t live in the same town as me, actually called up a common friend of ours and said she was very happy for me that I was expecting. And that after seven years of my marriage I would be very happy to have conceived. And then, there were not-so-polite enquiries about why I had had no children all these years. She wanted to know, ‘problem kya thi?’ A person who I haven’t seen in the last 15 years except for on Facebook was suddenly so interested in my life, all because I’m pregnant! I was so disturbed, I clammed up after that and didn’t want to tell anyone about the good news.

It’s extremely rude I think to pry into somebody’s lives like that. Some small time starlet tweeted about how Aishwarya had got IVF done at a Bangkok clinic. Who wants to know those kind of details about someone else, even if a celeb, unless they want to talk about it themselves? These topics are not taboo, or necessarily secrets, but I can’t get over how someone’s privacy can be intruded so shamelessly. It just leaves such a bad taste in the mouth.

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In an ideal home…

I love home decor. I love design. I love thinking of what my ideal home would look like, where I’ll place what and how… I love wood and fabrics and textures and crockery and in another time and age, I’d be this really well-dressed house proud homemaker who’d polish her silver and dust her crystal and butter-paper her china.

When I was a kid, I used to cut and keep away pics of nice bathrooms from glossies and design my ideal room on the computer… But now, I don’t do enough for something that I love doing. I actually put in very little effort into how my house looks, because a). where are the resources? and b). where’s the time? But I still drool over stuff I see around, especially on the plethora of design sites that tempt you with the eclectic, the aesthetic, the quirky and the latest. And I think, hope that one day, I’ll have it all put together to make this really astounding-looking house that speaks volumes about the person I am.

But for now, I’m starting a series of sorts called ‘In an ideal home…’ – a list of things I’m lusting after from here and there – a piece of furniture or art, an architectural innovation, a cushion/a rug/a throw… anything.

And in the first of the series:

1. I’m loving these ikat prints on these chairs, courtesy AnthropologieLove them because there’s something appealing about Indian designs being used in contemporary ways.


2. I saw these vintage Disney posters on art.com, and I love them for a kid’s room. Watsay?

3. And how sweet is this poster from Sugar Fresh on Etsy? Since love never goes out of fashion, why wouldn’t you want this?

4. These tumblers from West Elm looks so attractive. If I didn’t have any use for them, I’d create one.

5. This storage space for wrapping papers is so cool! Picked this idea from Apartment Therapy a long time ago.

It’s called a babymoon

So I hear. I love how people come up with all these cool terms to justify/describe the stuff they do. And then we all get to borrow those terms. Like this one – it’s called a babymoon. Like a honeymoon, but just before the baby comes, so it’s called the babymoon. Well, so we went on a babymoon. Because everybody has been scaring The Guy and me with depressing prospects of being housebound for months once the baby comes – no holiday, forget travelling, impossible, yada yada… So, I was really keen that we step out of the city at least once before, and if, any of that comes true. And the most feasible option at the moment was going to good ol’ Goa. That place where I don’t have to be a tourist, where I could go and just switch off mentally and relax. Because I so needed to relax. Work’s been so hectic, I really needed the break as well.

We were accompanied by two more couples, both of whom have lovely three-year-olds daughters and the two girls ended up totally in love with me! The Guy is very good with kids (fingers crossed for the future), while I’m good with all kids who’re good to me! Which is why we loved having the girls around us. Totally.

And how was Goa? Just as nice as only Goa can be. We stayed at the Fort Aguada Taj, which I really recommend just for the view. There are so many vantage points from the property where you can sit and do nothing. Yes, that’s what we mostly did – nothing. And it’s something that only Goa can get me to do so well. Elsewhere, I’m just a restless, on-her-toes tourist, looking for new sights and sounds, and getting a whole lot tired in the end. But that wasn’t the purpose of this trip….

The view of the fort and the sea from a restaurant window

And the hotel, it has one of those pools that overlook the sea. And when in the late night we would sit by the pool, we could hear the waves – some as high as the walls of the fort – lashing against each other violently. The dark sea is nothing like the blue waters that frolic about your feet in the day when you walk on the beach; it’s menacing, angry, all-consuming… And yet, you can be at peace with it because that’s just how it’s meant to be.

The pool overlooking the sea

 

 

A lot of people were sceptical about us going to Goa in the middle of the summers. But we brought the monsoons with us to Goa. The moment we alighted from our flight, the skies gave way and the rains came pouring down. All through our stay, we didn’t once get a chance to say how hot or humid or sultry it is. The weather was so benign, and the grey skies would intermittently clear up to show a little bit of blue – just enough to not let the greys begin to depress us.

That's NOT me in the pic

The weather and the hotel and the state of mind aside, what helped me to have so much fun was all the pampering I was getting. The Guy was super nice to me, as he is these days even at home. And my friends were so caring – no demands on me, no questions. Just a lot of space for me to sleep, eat and basically, just be. Just for all that niceness, I could be pregnant forever!

Who says women can’t keep a secret?

I kept one for so long that it doesn’t even classify as a secret any more. Because now, it shows. I can’t hide it, even if I vow never to speak about it.

Yup, as of now, I’m 20 weeks pregnant.

And don’t look at the screen so incredulously! Even I don’t believe I’m so far gone into the pregnancy already that I can feel my baby kick ever so lightly at my tummy. Yeah, I waited three months before I could announce to the world, because everyone said I must. And then, I just became tongue-tied. I couldn’t tell anyone, because I didn’t know how to. Now, however, my telling or not telling is irrelevant. It’s there for everyone to see.

I’ve gone from being from one antsy pregnant woman to a super cool mom-to-be. And by super cool I mean, just cool with the idea of being a parent. When I first realised I could be pregnant, I was so nervous. Scared. Super scared. I would cry because I didn’t want to think about what’s in store with me ahead. But now, I’m just pregnant and loving it! (A knock on the wood moment, this)

And it’s incredible how everyone’s welcomed the news. I mean, everyone I know. I think more than The Guy and me, our friends and family are excited. It’s like when you get married and everyone dances like crazy at your wedding and you wonder, ‘what’s wrong with them?’ Just that kind of feeling, except that this time I love that everyone loves me so much and are so excited for something that’s happening in my life.

Of course, there have been well-wishers who’ve asked what medication I took, and inquiries from totally unconcerned parties about why I hadn’t had a baby for the last seven years that I’ve been married. But frankly, I couldn’t care less about such people any more. This is about us and our baby and no one’s allowed to ruin it.