>Selfish Solitude?

>You can’t teach anyone anything about life through your own experiences, least of all how to enjoy solitude. I would know. If someone had told me being alone could be a fun thing, I would have totally disbelieved it some time back. I’m a people’s person, I love being around people, albeit people I like. But three months spent in Delhi taught me that there could be a thing like solitude, and it could be different from loneliness.

There is a very thin line between the two, you know. How easy it is to wallow into a sense of piteous loneliness and how easy to love the me-time and enjoy the solitude. I’ve done both while staying by myself, but mostly the latter. I’ve lived that time like… myself. Uninterrupted. Unadulterated. And loved it. More than I thought I was capable of!

But I think I came back home in time. Left alone any longer, I would have got addicted to my independence, the freedom to do what I wanted to, when and how. I’m glad I came back home to friends and family before I reached a point of no return. And I don’t say that cynically. Because solitude is a selfish mode of existence. It’s so much about yourself that if you begin to enjoy it too much, everyone else’s company becomes dispensable. And adjustments unnecessary.

But such is not the luxury that life affords people who’ve chosen to live like social beings. And I’m not even sure if I would think solitude was a luxury if it were to be mine permanently. Right now, I only treasure times I’ve spent alone as precious reprieve from so much cackle. Right now, I only know what both sides of the fence feel like.

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14 responses »

  1. >I enjoy solitude. I love being by myself. But I do so, only because I have the ease of mind that comes from knowing that there`s someone waiting for me back home. But like you said, I dont know how much I would value the me-time, if it became a permanent fixture in my life. I so hear you, D! Hugs.

  2. >I totally hear what you are saying…!!! After living mostly alone by myself during the week, sometimes i find company during the weekend tiring!! Good that you did not get addicted to it.

  3. >It's true that you ned some time for yourself sometimes. but then too much of solitutde soon become lonleyness and the worst part is that by the time you realise this , its too late. Don't get addicte to it .

  4. >@Piper: I think it's all about age. For me at least, at an earlier time in my life, enjoying solitude would have been difficult. Now that I've been there, done that, I can sit back and enjoy my own company!@Bindhu: I can imagine… I still crave for company, but very specific company.@Pointblank: I just took some time to learn it 🙂

  5. >I love living in solitude. No demands, no adjustments needed. In fact I find long weekends a bit tiring … even with people I love dearly. I guess its become too much of a good thing.

  6. >I can relate to what your saying, there are a few days/ weeks where I have stayed alone.. and I absolutely enjoyed it.. I do crave for it sometimes, but like you rightly said, thank God I did not get addicted to the solitude..

  7. >@Neha: So you're saying there can be too much of a good thing? Yes, I agree.@Ritu: I can imagine… I would love to be at that stage when I can actually be by myself and not offend anyone doing that!@Dee: Really? How come?@Tara: True.@How do we know: 🙂 Why do you say that?@SR: I'm quite surprised that so many people have related to this experience! 🙂

  8. >What you seem to have gone through was a free-of-cost Vipasana or Art of Living, whatever they call it :-)Can solitude be fun? I've experienced too much of it for my own good… But as you rightly summarized, maybe only for a while.

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