>Yeh Dilli Hai Meri Jaan

>Okay, so where do I begin? It’s almost like I’ve lost you. And I don’t want to. And if it makes any difference, I’d add I think about you all the time, dear reader.

I think about what all I should tell you that would not be work-related and that would not be I-miss-XYZ-related. And on most days I draw a blank. Believe me, I have so many blog drafts in my head, but no time to write them down. Time is really a problem.

But Delhi does this to you, doesn’t it? It gobbles up all your space like you could exist in a vacuum. It gobbles up a lot of other things as well. Like that little place in your heart which makes you remember people, call them, meet them. Because you have no time for it. After a 12-hour work day, what’s really left of life to talk about?

Were you waiting for this – the time I’d start cribbing about life in Delhi? Because I am going to begin now. It’s getting a little lonely in here, on days when I have the time to feel lonely. I welcome work with open arms because I do not want to be devoured by the ugly head that rears itself from time to time to drive in the point that I am alone here. I miss my life back home, but I’m at a place where I’m prepared to do this (what would you call it – torture?) to myself for a little bit longer. Because frankly, I love my work. And for all those horrible things that it is, I love Delhi too. I always have, I just wasn’t ready to admit it until now.

Of course, there are good things still happening. For one, being off 24hour FBing, bogging and Tweeting means I spend more time reading. I spend more time soaking in all that this city has to offer, the loneliness included. It may be a tad presumptuous even for me to say this about myself, but I feel like there’s a book growing within me. I feel the adjectives, verbs and phrases I find for everything around me falling over each other to burst out of my head. There’s still no story though, just aimless words. And I don’t know if they’ll find a suitable place to go.

I let myself get lost in a crowd. And I realise I can never get lost in a crowd. I know I will always stand out. Because in my head, that’s how I see myself – a little less ordinary.

On a lighter note, I’m still living it up. I attended a post-IPL party and did I tell you it was a whole new experience? We – The Guy was in town last weekend – went for the IPL match too and if you think it’s about cricket, you’re so wrong! It was a party at the stadium! We also went for the grand finale of the fashion week in Delhi and attended the pre-show party there. I’m not a star struck, celeb stalker. But to be at the same party as ten well-known designers makes small-town me feels nice-ish. Of course, this whole exercise of telling you what all I did could be seen as entirely small-townish, but believe me, if I had to show off, I could do some more name dropping here. So no, this isn’t about flaunting, it’s just about telling you about the fun bits. About how much we love the good life!

There’s so much more I want to write: about how my birthday month is here and I’m not feeling it, though I’ve already received my first birthday present! I want to write about how I cry into the pillow at night because I hate sleeping alone and I want to write about how heightened my olfactory senses have been since I came to Delhi, but another day.

That’s all about me for now. How have you been doing? Tell me so that I know you’re still here.

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23 responses »

  1. >that's really nice to know that you had a nice-ish time πŸ™‚ Me doing great and [teaching] work has started eating me up too !! Which I so like πŸ™‚ Blogging world sure does belongs to you and no matter how less you write I still wait for your posts πŸ™‚ Take care !

  2. >Very much still there!! πŸ™‚ LOL yes yeh hai dilli meri jaan πŸ™‚ Have fun. Take care.Your olfactory senses heightened since you have come to Delhi?! I remember something like this happening to me years ago…

  3. >I went back lots of posts to know whta was happening. Kudos to you girl for taking a tough decision & sticking to it & kudos to the Guy fo his support. & life sounds good for u.

  4. >I guess it eventually all comes down to prioritizing and balancing. All I can say is, think of it this way, that a lil bit of time away from family and loved ones in this way, may give you greater benefits to reap in the near future.

  5. >I am still here too…going through similar things, although I am not away from home. Work is eating up most of my life. Must have been awesome to have the guy visit for the weekend!And I want to second Narcotic's thought…hope there are pics from the party.I wouldn't blame the city though, for you not keeping in touch with everyone πŸ˜€

  6. >heya hon!Let me start by saying how proud I am of u!! Ur there all alone, enjoying ur work and still able to see the good & bad side of work. Your doing marvelously and u deserve this chance. Who knows once this time is over,if u could do it again?I think the only black mark on all this positiveness is missing the Guy.Loads of hugs and love!Dee

  7. >A book growing eh? Well, I suppose it will come out in the open when the time's right.seems like you're keeping yourself well occupied. Have fun.Oh and perhaps, a happy b'day greet in advance.

  8. >Oh..a book..can't wait for it..get the story quick and get writing..You are sad and yet you enjoy yourself. You are lonely and yet you go out and take the city on.. You go girl..I bet there are tons of good things waiting for you..

  9. >@How do we know: You in Delhi too? Will do.@I'm Nu: Oh, thank you for making me feel so nice! @Narcotic: I didn't take enough pictures 😦 I was trying to make it look like this is routine for me ;)@IHM: Thank you, for still being there… And the olfactory senses need an entire post to be explained.@Soulmate: You know, I have a horrible routine P. I leave for work around 11ish, and before that there's no time to call anyone. And I come home never before 11 pm. And then it's too late to call up anyone again 😦 Which is why I've not been able to call you. Sorry!

  10. >@Monika: Hey girl, how have you been? I'm not on Twitter also these days to catch up with you. But thanks.@JLT: April 18 :)@Goofy: Yes, I know what you mean. And I hope there are going to be definite benefits of this.@Aneri: You know, it's my routine that bad's, not my will. When do I keep in touch with everyone – between waking up and leaving for work, which is one hour's time or after coming home from work at 11 in the night?@Dee: Thank you, I like to be doing so many ppl proud, but it's me who's doing all the dirty work 😦 I want to be weak and allow myself that luxury.@J: Yes, if there is a book worth coming out, it will.

  11. >@Varsh: Thank you! I hopped over to your blog instantly, but because of some uploading issues on my comp here, I couldn't leave a msg. Thanks a ton, again.@comfortablynam: Oh, I curse my head every day for not being able to come up with a story that's worth writing :/ And the way you put that about living in opposites is so true.@sscribles: Ok, I know now at least my blogger friends will buy my book if no one else does πŸ˜‰ And thank you for the award!@G: Oh yes! πŸ˜€

  12. >similar routine here 😦 I wake up to attend conf calls, come back, cook and back on conf calls :(I usually do my socializing on my way to and from work. that seems to be the only free time..other than on weekends. I strictly do not work on weekends.

  13. >Even I'm going through this. And I dont even have a job to feel satisfied at the end of the day! Husband is on a project in another country for 3 mnths.. we meet on weekends.sometimes i go with him n see him for 2 hrs in the night. Being alone in a house sucks. But when I see the bigger picture, it's not that bad. I'm sure it is this that keeps you going as well. Ignore the loneliness, thats the only way out. All will become well…right!?

  14. >Yes. Delhi can do that. Makes one fel lost, a little out of place, a lil out of touch….makes one yearn too…Not the most beautiful city..nor the most ugly one..Delhi just is. Hard to explain. Makes me want to tear out my hair sometimes.I miss my chotu town..the one I lived in earlier..(((((hugs)))))))All the very best:)PS:-Just re-read the post before this and smiled again:))Love it.

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