>"OMG! What am I doing?"

>I ask myself that constantly. Constantly. I mean, it’s just so unreal how I’ve come to be here! The Guy and I look at each other disbelieving-ly, shocked at where we’ve landed ourselves. This was not part of our original plan, the one we made right at the start.

I’d be lying if I said I’m not scared. I’m scared stiff. I’ve psyched myself to believe this is going to be a lot of fun, numbing myself to thoughts of uncertainty and self-doubt. What else is there to do? I can’t go back now.

But I have a list of things that I’ve drawn up under the head of ‘Worst case scenario’ in my head. What’s the worst thing that can happen to me as a result of the decision I’ve taken. It goes something like this:

1. I’ll spend hours commuting to and fro from the office.
Upside: Good. That will leave me with lesser time to be alone.

2. I’ll have to work long hours, survive erratic timings.
Upside: Better still. That will leave me with still lesser time to miss Lucknow.

3.I won’t get enough and good food to eat.
Upside: I’ll lose some unwanted weight!

4. Office politics. They’ll all hate me, be mean to me.
Upside: I’ll better my art of ignoring irrelevant people.

5. I won’t be able to cope up, not at all, with any of it – the emotional and the professional pressure.
Upside: What have I to lose? I’ll go home just the way I came here. And be happy I tried at least.

And that last bit just makes me feel so much better. To have a home to go back to is all you can ask for in the worst of times. And I’m supposed to be having a good time! Nay?

(Posting from the phone as I wait around on Day 1 at work).

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39 responses »

  1. >Me first!!Kudos to your optimistic attitude!! Instead of crying over what all you left behind you're being so brave and focused..this is just what you need…Way to go girl! πŸ™‚

  2. >YAY ! That's the brave girl πŸ™‚ All will fall in place D πŸ™‚ You will see…and the time will fly just like that and you will be back to YOUR home and they guy πŸ™‚ Love & Hugs πŸ™‚

  3. >@Varsh: First indeed! I am trying very hard to be brave, believe me, and it's not easy.@Dee: Thank you Dee! @Pointblank: Yes, an exit option is a good way of putting it.@Mac: Well, what's the other option anyway?!@Bones: Yeah, so they say!@Nu: Thank you the encouragement. I need to hear nice things like that :)@Bindhu: That was stern 😦 Yes, there's no "need" for the 'OMG!' but some things are easier said than done.

  4. >Thats the spirit, you have the worse case scenario too all ready , so u will not be taken aback by anything that happens!All the best! I am sure it is going to be easy!

  5. >Oh dear… Did i sound stern…. Well, what i wanted to say was, given that the post is positive, there is no need for "OMG" in title. Now, let me add smileys to get off that stern look πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  6. >See! Day 1 sounds good. You even managed to blog from office on the first day. Bravo! :)Now cheer up. Few years down the line, this change will seem tiny. You will be glad you did it.

  7. >One of my senior managers likes to say, "I am not afraid of failure, I am afraid of success! I know I will try again if I fail, but what's next if I succeed" πŸ™‚ Think about that, dear D. You WILL be a big success, we all know that πŸ™‚

  8. >1. If they hate you, it's probably because you are (a)better looking then them, (b) More talented then them and (c) Better read than them. And if they hate you, you can judge them all you want, without any guilt!2. You'll want to quit almost everyday. Don't. Don't pull a Sarah Palin!3. Get a work friend. Someone you can trust. Stay away from work friend on weekends. You can bitch about your boss/everyone else to your work friend. 4. Get other friends outside of work, with whom you can bitch about your work friends. 5. Get drunk. A lot. 6. Blog more often. 7. Don't take anybody's advice.

  9. >@sindhu: But you can never expect the expected from life… Which is why I'm hoping that it catches me by surprise by being a cake walk :)@soulmate: Yes, I'm here. And house hunting high and low!@Peenuts: πŸ™‚ Oh yeah! If nothing else, that should work!@hitch writer: I had that option and still didn't choose it. Something must be wrong with me, no?@JLT: *Hug back* And thanks πŸ™‚

  10. >@celestialrays: "Sane and sensible" is the farce I put on to beguile myself ;)@Bindhu: Smileys are always nice πŸ™‚ :)@Tara: Thank you.@G: Oh, I hated the waiting. Made me want to rush back home. But like you said, this should seem tiny in hindsight.@Dil Se: Like I said, there's no other option but to be optimistic once you've taken the plunge!@M: Thank you.@aneri: I love that confidence! Tumhare muh mein ghee shakkar πŸ˜€

  11. >@Ramby: I suddenly like you so much more! :)@How do we know: Day 1 was fine. Not bad at all!@colormesunshine: Thank you, A.@Piggy Little: Eh? You too? I need to hear more from you in that case.@Charmed One: Thank you!@V: Nope. I did my college staying away from home. But this is different. I'm married now.

  12. >Hang in there, it gets interesting and you don't want to give up on those experiences.Did I leave a comment a few days ago? Don't see it on your last post but anyhow I have lived alone all the 8 years of my marriage. We live on two different coasts in the U.S. Boring details on why.It only got a bit tougher when my son was born but he's now six, we see my hub on most weekends and we have a ton of fun. Am I fed up? Sometimes but mostly, no!! My son thinks "My mama shtrongest:-)"

  13. >:-) OMG what will you do if they love you and you love your work and you get great food and love every bit of it……..:-)) Chill!! As you said "you have nothing to lose"

  14. >@Karan: Am glad ;)@Deepa: I didn't get any comment from you before this. But this one is heartening. If you can survive eight years, I can survive at least one! :)@Sraikh: First day went from being depressive to delightful – all in a span of a few hours!@hitch writer: That was a joke? Ha ha ha!@Varsh: Oh lord! No time, no internent connection at home yet! I'll act as fast as possible.@Sandhya: LOL! In that case, it won't be the worst case scenario πŸ™‚

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