>I ask myself that constantly. Constantly. I mean, it’s just so unreal how I’ve come to be here! The Guy and I look at each other disbelieving-ly, shocked at where we’ve landed ourselves. This was not part of our original plan, the one we made right at the start.
I’d be lying if I said I’m not scared. I’m scared stiff. I’ve psyched myself to believe this is going to be a lot of fun, numbing myself to thoughts of uncertainty and self-doubt. What else is there to do? I can’t go back now.
But I have a list of things that I’ve drawn up under the head of ‘Worst case scenario’ in my head. What’s the worst thing that can happen to me as a result of the decision I’ve taken. It goes something like this:
1. I’ll spend hours commuting to and fro from the office.
Upside: Good. That will leave me with lesser time to be alone.
2. I’ll have to work long hours, survive erratic timings.
Upside: Better still. That will leave me with still lesser time to miss Lucknow.
3.I won’t get enough and good food to eat.
Upside: I’ll lose some unwanted weight!
4. Office politics. They’ll all hate me, be mean to me.
Upside: I’ll better my art of ignoring irrelevant people.
5. I won’t be able to cope up, not at all, with any of it – the emotional and the professional pressure.
Upside: What have I to lose? I’ll go home just the way I came here. And be happy I tried at least.
And that last bit just makes me feel so much better. To have a home to go back to is all you can ask for in the worst of times. And I’m supposed to be having a good time! Nay?
(Posting from the phone as I wait around on Day 1 at work).