>A partyholic’s existentialist dilemma

>Whither to? I assume every partyholic must ask this question at least once in her hectic social life. It’s the partyholic’s existentialist dilemma and I’m asking myself this now – to what end are we partying?

I don’t know if anyone of you know what I’m talking about: this stance where you step back from your active social life and wonder what purpose all this partying serves. Oh yes, I’ve enjoyed it for the last six years but how much longer must I preen and prance like the social butterfly I’m so sick of being? I mean really, except for being such a great pastime, it’s mostly as inane as you think it is.

Sometimes I get the feeling I’m being sucked into this vortex, this unending cycle of inviting and being invited, of being polite and tolerant of people I have nothing to do with at all. And try hard to end it, but it just goes on and on.

My social life is made up of friends’ birthdays and anniversaries and now their kids’ birthdays as well. And then there are birthdays and anniversaries in the family – all of which are unmissable. I love the quiet/fun dinners with my immediate and extended family and my dearest friends, the catching up over coffee and films, the discussions and the interactions with intelligent/funny people. But the rest – those friends of friends whom I must be nice to by attending their soirees – I am tired of them!

And the gossip that’s such a natural fallout of the socialising, I do not enjoy any of it anymore. I positively do not enjoy the desperate posing for page 3 and the silly talks about one or the other kitty. Please spare me the horror of listening to who didn’t invite you and who did!

I do not like the feeling of being lost in a maze of inscrutable personas that hide behind clothes, jewellery and money. Show me an interesting, intelligent person and I’m all attentive. Show me money and you’ve put me off.

Sometimes, I just under-dress for an occasion so as to not live up to expectations – I love getting dressed because I love getting dressed not because someone else wants to see me dressed up. Don’t slot me even as well-dressed because there’s so much comfort sometimes in being sloppy.

And don’t ask me to be politically correct. I don’t understand politically correct people. They irritate me because they’re so pretentious. I can’t stand the idea of partying with someone I don’t like but in a place like Lucknow, you’re often thrown in with such group of mismatched people, you must either appear rude or be tolerant.

I have a strong suspicion that I party so much just to fill up a vacuum in my life and that consciousness makes me feel utterly tetchy. I also have a strong suspicion that partying so much has created a huge vacuum in my life by taking me away from all that I shouldn’t be away from. And in either situation, the answer is definitely not more partying. The answer is to learn to say ‘no’ when ‘yes’ is just a reflex response.

Disclaimer: The writer is an avid party-goer and may be suffering from the side-effects of excessive partying at the time of writing this piece. This post cannot and should not be used to prove a point against the writer’s (probable) incessant partying in the future!

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9 responses »

  1. >I agree, "…the answer is definitely not more partying. The answer is to learn to say ‘no’ when ‘yes’ is just a reflex response."And I also prefer gatherings with people I truly like and get along with…

  2. >i agree. i too prefer spending time with my closest friends. in fact all this month it's just us getting together EVERY weekend.The last few months all of us have been busy with work and have had hardly any time to let our hair down. oooh. it's going to be fun. I'd rather not spend the festive season with people i barely know.

  3. >u said it! I am so much like u in this regard, I party like a maniac!But over the years I've discovered its so much nicer to do it often with people one is actually close to….so I do those home parties most frequently, and once in a while partying with random people…works for me!As for turning down invites, the more formal and stuck up an invite, the bigger the chances of my bunking.

  4. >@IHM: You know the good thing about blogging is that sometimes when you start writing a post, you don't know if you have a resolution to the problem. But by the time you reach, the resolution comes to you automatically. Like this one. @JLT: Yeah? Like how?@Mumbai Diva: The problem in a place like Lucknow is that everyone knows everyone!@Chandni: Same to same!

  5. >and come to think of it.. I have a zero social life.. 😦 and it has created a different kind of vacuum in my life. Sometimes I do feel like partying but then I dont have anyone to party with.. and when I get a chance to visit someone, I make sure that I am all dressed up since I love to…

  6. >You obviously need to cheer up. De-stress. Get you mind free of all these difficult questions.I think a party is the perfect solution to your existentialist dilemma. :-)Cheers,Quirky Indian

  7. >"I don’t know if anyone of you know what I’m talking about: this stance where you step back from your active social life and wonder what purpose all this partying serves."Over the years I have asked this question to myself a hundred times, and most of the time I came up with the answer that most partying is a waste of time and strain on health.Shastri Philipwww.ShastriPhilip.Com

  8. >@Soulmate: My social life is such an integral part of who I am now that it is difficult for me to imagine what it would be like to give it up completely! But I've been there too, on the other side of the fence, that is.@Quirky Indian: LOL! Yeah, absolutely. Nothing like a party to get a thinking brain to stop thinking too much ;)@Shastri Philip: Technically speaking, yes, it may serve no apparent purpose. But it's still fun!

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