>Happy Dad Day!

>Dear Papa,

I know you’ll never let me say this to you, because you say you already know how much I love you but you don’t know how.

You don’t know Papa that of all my childhood memories, I cherish most the ones in which you figure. You’ve been a father I’d love every girl to have. Despite everything we couldn’t have back then, you made me feel like a princess. You let me think I was the girl around whom the world revolved and you let me believe that at least one man in this world would do my bidding! You gave me so much love that I could go through life without anyone giving me anymore.

And while you were the Dad in shining armour, you were also man enough to cry for us – when we got hurt you would comfort us till you wept, when we wept in pain you sat in your room and prayed for us because you couldn’t bear to look at us cry. And I never forgot that when I cried, I hurt you more than I was hurting. You sobbed when you said goodbye to me when I got married and you didn’t care if the world was watching you.

You say we’re friends and I agree. You’ve been my friend, Papa, because you’ve accepted me for who I am. You knew when I argued with you that I loved and respected you just as much as when I nodded my head in agreement with what you said. You made me feel like a friend when you sought my opinion on things and I gave you an honest one. People laughed at us when you said I’d helped you make up your mind about Sh (my sister)’s choice of guy, but I love you Dad for believing in me when I told you he was the right guy. And I’m glad we both have nothing to regret! I know, Dad, that I could have told you what I think and that you wouldn’t rubbish it as a child’s babble. It made me respect myself the way you respected me.

I always wondered how you fielded queries about not having a son – am sure there must have been plenty of those when there were so many directed at us for not having a brother. But I do not remember even once having felt inadequate for being a girl. Thank you Dad for treating me as your child before you treated me like a daughter. I understand now that the confidence we grew up with was something you and Mom passed on to us.

Do you remember Papa how you made me your partner in crime – playing little pranks on Mom, smuggling me away for kebab-parathas in the middle of the day, plotting a surprise on mum’s birthday? You were a hit with my friends – always there to say ‘hello’, crack a joke, leave with a witty one-liner but never over-bearing, never intrusive, never inquisitive.

But you were not perfect and I knew that. However, I love you Dad because despite your bouts of temper, you didn’t shy away from saying sorry. I’ll always carry that lesson with me – that it’s okay to err before your child and it’s okay to say sorry. You’ve taught me the smallest and the biggest lessons in life – I learnt from you that no matter what happens, it’s alright – that nothing was big enough to lose your sleep over. I learnt from you that letting go isn’t the toughest thing in the world.

You taught us to take responsibility for what we do and the lessons started young. On those rare occasions when mom asked us to study, you told her off saying if we didn’t have the sense to study, we’d be the one flunking the exams! You never pestered us with what to eat and how. You never told us what was right and wrong and let us make our own mistakes.

Do you know Dad how much you’ve made us proud? More with your hardwork than your success, more with your honesty than your clout. I regret not having given you the pride of having your daughter be a lawyer like you, but I know you don’t hold it against me. And I know it still makes you proud to have daughters who’re doing well where they are.

There’ve been times when I’ve been very, very angry with you. I remember one time you and Mom had a fight and you wouldn’t have your medicine just because you were angry with Ma till I asked you to. I hated you for doing that, but you know what I liked? How you took my chiding for what you’d done. It was the last time you did that because you understood what I meant when I said you weren’t doing any of us a favour by taking care of yourself, that it was okay to quarrel but not okay to emotionally blackmail by causing yourself harm, that the next time I wouldn’t come to ask you to have your medicine. I’m so glad Papa, you could take that from me and never forget it.

I’m amazed at how much I’ve turned out like you! I know I’ve inherited your side of the genes more than I’ve inherited Mom’s. But as I grow older, I’m more and more surprised at how much of you I see in myself. It’s not just that I resemble you, it’s how I react to things, how I talk, how I sleep at night that makes me my daddy’s daughter! I know I have your flaws, but I also I hope I have some of your better qualities as well!

I hate to think you’re growing old Papa, because I have no idea how I will live my life without you. I have no idea how it will feel to not know you’re going to set things right if they go terribly wrong. Or how it would feel to not have your humour to lighten my day. And that’s why I need to tell you how much I love you.

Happy Father’s Day!

Love,
D

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31 responses »

  1. >Your love and adoration for your dad shines through each word in this post, D. Absolutely lovely. All I can say is your dad is as lucky to have you for his child as you are to have him as your father. 🙂

  2. >@Mystic: Awww… that's sweet! Thank you.@Anon: Neither can I! I wish God would let parents live forever…@A: That's an idea!@Sindhu: Heartfelt.@I scribble here: My father's out of town 😦 Juts wished him on the phone though.

  3. >D, This is so beautiful. Dads are just wonderful and looking at smart and strong daughters one can gauge father's influence on her. Happy Father's Day to your Dad.

  4. >@a million different people: What part of that comment is stupid?! I don't see.@Solilo: Never thought of it that way, but it may be true.@GM: Definitely lucky, lucky me – today and always.

  5. >You've expressed feelings for your dad so eloquently D! Beautiful :)Wishing you many many more Father's Days to share with your dad in the future!

  6. >@Jira: Thank you so much!@Piper: He doesn't read my blog. Have been wondering if I should email it to him… @Monika, Ansh: Thank you!

  7. >This was so touching D…truly beautiful..I have this very same bond with dad :)I had written about it a long time back..this post of yours made me smile :)the growing old part?its something that terrifies me when I think of ma and dad growing old..was writing about it and then left it midway…(((((hugs))))for Uncle:))All of us daughters who have had such amazing dads are blessed!:)))

  8. >@Sangfroid: And why do wonder that? It's a known fact that I'm a daddy' daughter and that my sis is mamma's girl and none of us mind it. I still love my mom and she loves me. But I know I share something with my Dad which is not this-life-ish, if you know what I mean… many lives, many masters!@JLT: Yes 🙂 And I thank God for it.@indyeah: I agree. So many of my friends feel the same way about their fathers. We truly are blessed!@monikamanchanda: Thank you Monica!@Mampi: You know, when I was writing this, some part of me kept telling me to stop for the sake of all those daughters who would read this and may miss their fathers… I wish we could keep our parents forever, but that would be selfish, no?@Mini: Thank you.@Nisha: 🙂 I'll try. And hey, welcome back to blogging!

  9. >@SMM: Not yet. Probably won't!@Iya: Thank you… I don't think he'll be able to read it without shedding a few tears… can't do this to him!

  10. >The fact the you are your Daddy's Darling was not known to me :-)I asked because of the regular Mom being close to son and daughter being close to Dad thingy. We do love our parents but the attachment is mostly skewed towards one of them 🙂 Is it not ?

  11. >@Sangfroid: Ok. No need to get so touchy. I was just asking why you would wonder that. And yes, you may be right about the daddy's girls and mamma's boys, but in my family we're two sisters, so can't say. But I do think I'm skewed towards my dad in my affections as are so many people and as you say.

  12. >@Quirky Indian: 🙂 I cry every time I read this because it makes me miss Dad even more, but was quite surprised when The Guy had tears in his eyes while reading this.@I scribble here: Oh, I saw this comment later. Cool hai!

  13. >:)))Wonderful! Ur Papa is just as lucky to have you as a daughter as you are to have a father like him. God bless you both. 🙂 Why won't you make your dad read this though? He must … like you implied, who knows what happens tomorrow. we have to avail today and share our true feelings.

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