>Were you wearing jeans when you were eve-teased?

>

Or a sleeveless/tight top or high heels?

You must be. Four colleges in Kanpur have banned girls from turning up in college in any of those to avert cases of eve-teasing! And by doing that, we suppose, we will have zero incidence of eve-teasing because a girl in jeans is asking for it – provoking with her denim-clad legs lecherous, whistling, ogling men. Because a girl in high heels and sleeveless top is provoking them to pass comments, make vulgar sounds, touch and go. And these men will do none of that to a girl in a salwar-kameez or a saree?

We never ask for it. Not when we dress up and decide to look anything but plain Jane. Not when we wear gloss and mascara, tube tops and halter necks. We’re not asking for it when we giggle with our friends, laugh out loud or when we talk to them nicely. What gives them the impression they can cross the line?

There’s not a girl I know who doesn’t have an eve-teasing story to tell and they are not stories about our jeans alone! I’ve been teased in my school uniform, in my salwar-kameez-dupatta, in sarees and skirts.

What were you wearing when you were eve-teased?

And to the men – does a woman ask for it when she wears jeans?

Advertisements

56 responses »

  1. >The answer to your question is a big NO.What the principal has done in this case is an old act. Blaming the teased instead of punishing the culprits. Not a solution!

  2. >Skirts, saris, salwars with head covered due to the heat..no. That din't stop the muck from leching or grasping. The jeans and heels have also never stopped me from hitting back. Whenever possible.

  3. >are the colleges willing to guarantee that no one will eve tease girls now? What the city of Kanpur and a lot of other cities should do it sensitise the boys to the wrong of what they are doing. How difficult is that? If the indian society continues to do what it is doing (which is basically, reverting to the dark ages), very soon we will see girls who prefer to die rather than live this way, and then, where will the men go with their "needs"?

  4. >@Sangfroid: Good to hear that from a man.@Meira: Way to go girl!@How do we know: Exactly my point – what is the guarantee that there will be no eve teasing henceforth?The sex ratio is dismal already, especially in UP. Won't have to wait much longer for that!

  5. >Huh that is so cynical. I remember in my +2, our college had rules about how girls should dress. No western clothes, only salwar kameez 'with dupatta', yes they said that!!!

  6. >Gosh D isn't this unconstitutional??? And NO I was not wearing jeans when I was teased, I was in school uniform the first time, and after that in salwar, saree and maybe occasionally in jeans also. And I think they should guarantee an end to eve teasing if the girls start wearing jeans. Or like Amit Varma says, ban the girls, because nobody will tease the jeans if they came to the college without the girls inside them.

  7. >well, all i can think of is, someone (politicians, administrators) wants to be seen as doing something!!! in fact a few years ago, a girls college in chennai (MOP, fyi) banned jeans…. dunno who they were afraid of… th male teachers…

  8. >A girl is going to get eve teased no matter what she wears. Period. And that is really sad.I used to remember the days in my teens when I wore the most ill-fitting salwars, with no make up and silliest hair-dos just to avoid getting teased. Such was my frustration! But looking back, I feel so silly that I did something like that. It is not the girls who need to change their ways. And the college is sending the wrong message by restricting their wardrobes. A woman has the right to wear what she wants as long as it is not obscene. It is the men who need to change their ways. And any guy involved should to be punished severely, not just left to roam after a meager fine. And there is no such thing as mild eve-teasing. It is plain harrasment, that women have to endure day in and day out.

  9. >I know I'm not going to draw an applause here, but being a guy (albeit not a straight one), if you stand before me 2 girls, one wearing salwaar kameez, and another, a pair of tight denims that perfectly takes the curvature of her smooth, sexy, curvy and absolutely delicious ass (calm down ladies, I'm gay), I know which of them is going to make me whistle!That was just to give you an idea of straight-gavaar-male-mentality. And I believe I'd understand that better than women would.You fine ladies have to realise that it's probably one of many steps (I hope) that the University admin. is taking to reduce eve-teasing. If they'd quoted the reason behind their decision as encouraging ethnic wear and Indian culture, I'd be as up in arms, as you folks, but because of the reasoning they've used, I don't oppose it completely.Yes, it will not eliminate eve-teasing. But even if it makes .1% of a difference, I think that's a step in the right direction.Besides, I remember how my sister went from wearing denims and shorts all the time, to salwaar kameez, when she was in college. She said they were far more comfortable, owing to the cotton fabric. So I don't think it's all bad. Trendly salwaar kameez's DO look good!

  10. >@Shilpa: And did it keep the boys away?@Chrysalis: So basically, it is illogical!@IHM: Yeah, that could possibly be the only solution! The Taliban isn't so off the mark, is it?@Prince: And despite all this moral policing, the rapes, pre-marital sex, teenage pregnancies are on the rise! @Jira: Exactly Jira! How difficult is that to fathom – that the problem lies in someone's mind and not someone's clothes!@unsung: You're right, no one's going to be applauding here! By your logic unsung, the Taliban's code for women is fool proof. No women, no cry?And if the choice is between two women – one in jeans and the other in a salwar kameez – and the guy chooses the former to tease, who will he choose when all girls are in salwar kameez? You think he's going to step back and look at his feet? Nah baby, he won't! He'll still do what his sick mind has taught him to do!

  11. >A girl will be eveteased even if she goes about in a sari – covered from top to toe! A woman should have the right to wear what she wants! Isn't it crazy that the blame is put on the woman's attire , very conveniently exonerating the men of all blame.. Easy peasy – the women tempt us!!! I was eveteased while wearing a school uniform too.. It just does not matter.. Women wearing anything are equally susceptible to being eveteased.

  12. >If a man can't control himself, that's his problem and I shouldn't have to change my wardrobe to suit his lecherous tendencies. unsung: we live in a civilized society, and schools would do better to educate straight men on behaving themselves rather than expecting the woman to take the fall when they're victimized. The message that the colleges perpetuate is the same old 'it's always the woman's fault' shit. Horrible, for an educational institution. What are we, Saudi Arabia?

  13. >I have the same question as IHM. Isn't this unconstitutional? If it isn't already, then it should be. There should be a law against colleges/institutions putting such ridiculous bans on people choices.

  14. >of course not!!!none of this kind of policing is going to help…you cud be wearing anything :)but I have always wondered..when we dress up, why do we do it? i mean even as small as wearing kohl. I've not been able to figure out if we do it cos we think it looks pretty, it makes us feel pretty, or it elicits a comment that we are looking pretty…the point of make up has never been clear to me…

  15. >you name it, sari, salwar, skirt, dress, pullover, jeans …the list is endless.i even stopped wearing dresses and skirts in India unless I'm going out in a car and going for dinner or a party. I would never wear a dress or skirt to the market or for shopping. that's how insecure eve teasing has made me felt. even now I sometimes dread passing through a group of guys alone.

  16. >@Smitha: Yes, it is the easiest thing to do – blame the woman's attire for what's wrong with a man's head!@Meluhhan: Exactly! It would be more apt to teach men a civilized code of conduct than to expect women to change their dressing.@Revs: If we could kill on blogs, a lot of people would be dead 😉 Hahaha!@Roop: Why, I wonder?@Edita: I can't speak for others, but when I dress up I do it feel good about myself. I like to look good for myself. I can't bear to look at myself in the mirror without the kohl in my eyes. Of course, it's also nice to be appreciated, but appreciation doesn't have to be a lewd comment or vulgar sounds… Those things don't make us feel appreciated, they make us feel dirty.@A: I think it's true for a lot of us – how we choose to dress conservatively while venturing out in the market. I don't know if it isn't true everywhere in the world…

  17. >*IHMNo, it isn't unconstitutional. Most professional colleges anyway implement their own dress codes which prescribe Indian clothing for women and Formal western for men. The only exception is that they have conservative intentions behind their decisions, whereas the Kanpur Univs. have avoided that.This is not an attempt to either put the blame on women, or pass it off as a substitute for punishing the men involved in eve-teasing. It's only one precautionary measure that aims at helping the ladies. The main focus would obviously remain to nab the culprits and punish them severely.If in the same sentence, you ladies were to admit that western clothing is more provocative than Indian, and still maintain that women should be allowed to wear what they want, then I think that's a bit foolish.I don't think women should be forced to follow the dress code, I think they should voluntarily adopt it. Which would never work. Thus, they enforce.Asking the authorities to make the city crime-free is completely unrealistic. Any number of lectures dished out to them would be a waste. Yes, one should nab eve-teasers and punish them severely, but that there will always be an unending supply in at least the near future.The measure is for one's own safety, take it or leave it. I think it would be foolish to rebel.In my own college, girls wear Indian and western. I keep wishing more and more girls would wear skirts and capris, to add more variety and make the environs more hep. But I can only advocate that because my campus is near about a 100% safe for women. Yes, girls can walk around on campus at 11 pm in skirts, and no one would be harmed. If it wasn't safe, neither would the girls dress like that, nor would I want them to.And that level of safety could be achieved because my campus is on a small town, and it's very easy to nab an offender. The men are as perverted as their city counter-parts. But they know that if they act out, their asses would be on fire because frankly, there's no where to run.

  18. >To some extent, it may make a difference – the way a woman is dressed. But do you think a woman in a sari or a burqa for that matter will not be eve-teased?? I detest this hypocrisy – that its ok for a man to lech and leer,So women go cover yourselves!

  19. >Like I wrote on my blog, lets blindfold the men, if that does nto work lets castrate them- why is that not considered a viable suggestion- oh just because they are men? That aside, I emailed one of the colleges, the email id is on my blog.

  20. >Amit Verma (India Uncut) has a solution:"The simplest way to stop crime against women is of course to ban the women themselves, not their jeans. After all, if a pair of jeans came to college without a woman inside, would it get harassed? Clearly not. So why ban the jeans?"

  21. >@unsung: You know what you're trying to say is that men have this urge to ogle, whistle, pass a remark at any woman they see. And that the only way to keep them under control is to scare them off with the fear of punishment! That there is no such thing as a decent guy! Also, no one here is saying that western clothing = indecent dressing. No at all. On the contrary, I think a saree is the most provocative dress! It bares your midriff and hugs your hips; the blouse is equally flattering to a woman's figure! I don't think women need to voluntarily adopt any dress code for their safety. I think the men need to voluntarily adopt a code of conduct for the women's safety.@Piper: Sadly, women themselves condone such actions and expect those of their ilk to follow such foolish standards of behaviour or dressing.@Alankrita: I think blindfolding the men is a brilliant idea!

  22. >This is sad and it is happening again. Similar kind of ban happened couple of years back too.How difficult is to understand that 'we don't invite IT'. How about banning the root cause of eve-teasing? 😐

  23. >I agree with the above comment, blindfolding men is the right step to take not to ban jeans…I was wearing a long skirt when I was eve teased, fully covered, and docile!

  24. >@Sraboney: I think what Amit Varma is saying is exactly what the directives will ulitimately achieve. If you make it so difficult for women to lead a free life, women will prefer to disappear.And hey, I didn't remove your comment. I guess we were posting comments at the same time – you, me and Rakesh – so that when I replied to comments above yours, yours wasn't visible, if you know what I mean. Happens with blogger all the time!@Rakesh: Sounds like a feminist version of Gandhigiri to me :)@Solilo: Well, some think the root cause of eve teasing is the eve herself! Obviously, we don't agree.@Sindhu: A skirt is a skirt, no matter how long!!! How can you even think of yourself as fully covered in a skirt Sindhu?! See, it's easy to go along with such a flawed logic!

  25. >Please do not interpret this comment as one against jeans. Generally about revealing dresses.let me try to explain the logic behind dress codes1) women does not want to be eve teased2) but wearing tight tops and revealing outfits(iam not into the discussion as what is revealing. it may even be a sari) are rights of women.3) so men r free to watch this show of skin4) which in turn provokes them to eve tease. but agreed that it may not be the only reason to be eveteased.5) why shud a women wear revealing clothes if she wants protection from eve teasers? Let me give another side also.Men perceive women wearing revealing outfits as hifi range. they don't tease them though they get provoked by them. so they show their provocation to the so perceived docile salwar kameez ladies. I think it is possible.We madly copy westerners. with money in hand and financial freedom, we feel it is our right to show the skin.we expect men to take it lightly just as it happen in western countries. but this freedom can also be spent in a much productive and less provocative way.

  26. >@Sindhu: Darling, that was all tongue-in-cheek. A pavada is as decent as it gets, even if you call it a long skirt.@fieryblaster: I have some questions for you -When a woman wears something provicative, who decides it is provocative? Do all men think a saree/jeans is provocative? And once a guy is provoked, how does he know where to stop? Why does he stop at eve teasing and not go ahead and rape that woman? You can justify rape as a result of provocation by a woman too, can't you?Also, westernisation means money and independence in a woman's hand? I had no idea! By this logic, before westernisation of our country took place, women would have been safe and eve teasing unknown. But how come that's not true?

  27. >Oh Common ! those stupid colleges !. Every man / woman have right to do whatever they want. – As long as it doesn't cause physical pain to others. Every woman has a right to wear or not to wear whatever they want . Whats the problem with the men I don't understand if a girl wants to show off her cleaveges or boobs?Anyway , most of the comments I feel are right . Eve Teasing doesn't depend on the dress you wear. I can use this statement to put forward my views for Naturism.

  28. >Totally agree with you, D. Besides, Indian women through history have always worn outfits that would now be considered very revealing. We seem to have forgotten that women in many parts of the country didn't wear blouses with their sarees until the Brits told us to adopt the prevailing Victorian morality. So what 'western' are we talking about anyway? Ancient or modern? And modern western isn't that different from modern eastern!

  29. >@Cicero: Stupidity may be contagious, I'm afraid.@Meluhhan: Blaming the West for everything that's gone wrong with our society isn't the solution to any problem.@Sraboney: I've tried but all usernames I could want on WP are taken 😦

  30. >i never meant to justify a man eveteasing woman for revealing dresses. but that cannot deny the fact that revealing dresses invite problems.i said again, i am not into the discussion as to which is revealing. even the big universities and institutions are unable to come to a conclusion and draw line. a woman herself knows which is revealing though.Again u have misinterpreted. having financial independece does not tantamounts to westernization.my point was financial freedom was misused to embrace westernisation. westernisation believes in complete personal freedom. our society is closed which equally restricts certain freedom to men also and insists on self restraint. by aping westerners, which is pretty easy, we are doing no good to our future progenies.well these are personal opinions though. no offence meant.

  31. >@Chakli: Yes, that's probably what is next!@fieryblaster: The problem with saying "Don't wear revealing clothes" is that what may be revealing for one may not be the same for another. So if a man thinks a woman is dressed in a revealing outfit, it's not a woman's problem. And by the time women got financial independence, the "westernisation" of our society had already taken place. And while aping the West isn't commendable, it's quite okay to borrow some things from other cultures if they can help us. I think living in a closed society isn't such a good idea and we may do better by removing restrictions and asking for self-restraint, as you say.@Margarita: Yeah, just a post late 🙂 But this discussion is never out of date.

  32. >On thing I do not understand is how the statement "Men cannot control themselves" is not seen as demeaning to men. It basically screams "ALL men are rapists". You'd think me would be ashamed to agree with it.

  33. >What was I wearing?I was a 12 year old girl who was as childish looking as one could get…I was wearing my school uniform..and on the only day that I decided to walk home from school some pervert sped past on a cycle and groped me..What was I wearing?does that matter?someone should tell it to THAT woman who has proposed such a step!moron!eve teasing has everything to do with the men and nothing to do with the women..and If I could I wish I could get to smash a few heads ..thats the only thing that would give me enough satisfaction…

  34. >lame excuses of the coward.. some ways of ducking from responsibility..and men will find even salwar kameez provocative.. what was Shiny Ahuja's maid wearing? high heels and tube top?

  35. >@Alankrita: Well, some men do take exception to that, but if they are conditioned to believe it's okay for a man to not be able to control himself, he's likely to want to get away with rape!@Inyeah: Happened to so many of us, didn't it? Yes, the urge to smash the eve teasers' head when it happens to you is compelling.@Iya: Good question. What was she wearing? And did you hear the latest in these colleges? Now the teachers have been banned from wearing sleevless saree blouses and high heels! Distraction comes in many forms!

  36. >that's ridiculous! i don't know if it's still valid… but a couple of years ago, a research agency had done a market survey… and the results pointed to the fact that men were more intimidated of eve-teasing women wearing "western" clothes. (i'm guessing that included jeans as well.) they would rather tease someone in a salwar or saree because these women were LESS likely to react aggressively and the men would get away with it. none of this is what i'm saying. just thought it was relevant to the post. personally… i don't think it's who wears what. it's in the mind. if they think that banning jeans and sleeveless is going to put an end to eve-teasing…. well, they may as well do away with women, no?! ridiculous flawed logic! first time here… dropped by from DDDs blog-roll.

  37. >@unsung: Point taken. He only admitted to having sex with the maid, not raping her.@rayshma: Welcome here! And those are interesting survey results. As for banning jeans in colleges, I wish they had done some survey before coming up with something so bizarre!

  38. >I'm not saying that he DIDN'T admit to having sex with her, but let's wait for court trials to be sure… god knows what was going on inside there, in the interrogation rooms…

  39. >Note sure if you would read this.I just came here from Roop's blog.I am a guy and a straight one!!!This discussion took me to an incident experienced by here when she was 13-14 years old.It was in one of the famous South Indian temples, where a priest tried to grope her. Now mind you, she was fully dressed in salwar etc with her parents. Now why would he do that? Becos, she was looking sexy in a flabby dress, or becos he is a sicko?Being here in the US for the last 12+ years, I find that India is changing for bad (yes, not good). On my recent trips I have noticed that men/women are trying to imitate western culture and do things which most westerners themselves consider a sin.I am not talking abt wearing micro- minis or keeping 3/4th of your bosoms out. I was brought up in a IAF family and went to modern schools. So, ppl, i know what revealing means. Its a thin line between comfortable and slutty.I believe its not always the clothes which are the culprit of getting teased, it is the behavior too. Now, someone would surely say that they were not provoking/behaving badly when they were eve-teased. True, sadly India is full of MCP's.Tell you what, when you are so fond following Western culture by wearing everything from US of A (albeit it comes from China) and eat KFC or McD, why the heck dont u act like one>When someone teases you, just hit him right then and there. It does not help by going to teh cops ( who in my opinion are useless assholes and should be treated in Guantanamo) or to media.Get your justice done then and there. Today, the face of woman is a powerful one internationally. Lets try to prevail it in India too. I know it is easier said than done, so was the pink-chaddi campaign….you are always alone when you start.I am sure to teach my DD to never take crap like this.Extremely sorry if I unknowingly touched any bad strings there.

  40. >@unsung: Point taken again.@coolguy: I'm not sure this is about Indian men vs American (western) men. Neither eve teasing nor rape is a phenomenon peculiar to India, but yes, India could definitely be made safer for women if only someone would take the onus for it!As for changing to wordpress, I have been mulling over it, but why do you say that?

  41. >Interesting! The latest fashion trend in apparels today is the skinny jeans that give you a lean look. However, if you are unable to get into those, you would also be happy to put on those wide legged pants or trousers that are also hot with the fashionistas. When worn with a short narrow top and a slim fit jacket along with high heel shoes, this combination would look cool and give you that much longed for lean look.Try it out this season!

  42. >@Designer Studio: Thank you for the totally unsolicited advice! I don't think anyone would have ever written a more irrelavant comment than this!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s