>Work is warship…


…And the soldiers need a break from combat some time. At least in times of peace. Let’s say that soldier is me, been beating the deadlines since the last six years and now super exhausted. Bored would be a better word.

So when I heard yesterday that my much younger friend had taken a second sabbatical from work in the last 3 years and that another friend was contemplating quitting her job the second time in six years, I was tempted – to give up my post at the battle field, put up my legs and say I’ve retired, temporarily at least.

What’s stopping you, people who know I’m self-employed would ask. And I have no answers. There seems to be no reason to be going to work, especially since I seem to be spending most of my working day on Facebook and blogging. And also because I now have enough people in my office taking care of everything that could possibly ask taking care of. My presence in office serves the purpose of ensuring everyone does their work – and they say that’s no mean job either – but it all leaves me unprecedented-ly idle. How do I handle all the free time I suddenly seem to have at hand? My work experience did not prepare me for this. Yet I cannot seem to part from a routine that’s on the verge of becoming monotonous. I cannot give up my financial independence, that feeling of knowing I’ve worked for the pleasures I enjoy (at least some of them).

My work life has been such an integral part of who I am that people scoff at me if I say I want to take a break. I don’t blame them – I just have been so passionate about my work all these years, enjoyed the challenges and enjoyed even more winning them – for not being able to imagine me without my workspace. My family shudders at the idea of having me home full time; they say I would be back to office within a week. The Guy says it’s impossible for me to be a full time home-body. Perhaps they are right: I really have no idea what I would do if I stopped going to work, how I would fill the hours in a day. And perhaps they are wrong: who says I ought to be doing something all the time? What I’m sure of though is that I need something more than others’ expectations of me to keep me going. I need a new challenge or I need a break.

Of course, there’s a lone voice – that of my sister – telling me to understand my true calling. And I haven’t the faintest idea what that could be, how I’m supposed to arrive at it and then pursue it. I haven’t ever taken any calcualted risks in my career, just been spurred ahead by the desire to do something new and exciting, test unchartered territory. And yet, there is this urge to get back to writing professionally. I could and I can’t. Sometimes going back is so much tougher than going forward. How can I reclaim the past that has given me up? How can I find the future that I’m waiting for?


16 responses »

  1. >I find people confuse between working from home and not working at all or having other people to do their work and hence not doing a real job. When the money flows in so does the guilt.Even house wives who people think do no job need a break. A break in the monotony. It doesn’t have to be a resignation. It could just be 2 weeks back packing in Europe or sunbathing on the beaches of Goa.No cell phones, computers. Just pure bliss. :))

  2. >@Solitaire: I guess so.@det-res: If you’re referring to me, let me clarify I’m self-employed, yes, but I’m not working from home. And as of now, I don’t need two week,s I need 6 months in Europe!

  3. >you can always sratr writing professionally again!may be abhi u can utilize the idle time in office to write…and then once u’ve figured some more stuff out…could go and find takers?

  4. >oh, even im retiring, temporarily next thursday! im going home to write an exam, and after november, i want to start afresh. go through the excitement of starting a career from scratch… i used to say i wanna be a journalist, na? im gonna do something abt it! btw, do tell me if u have any contacts that could help me… specifically, any contacts in any of our business channels!

  5. >@Chandni: The problem is that I can’t go back to the place I was working at – have no inclination to – and there are very few freelance opportunities in Lucknow. So the big Q is “How”.@Avaran: Excellent – the retiring bit. As for contacts, if I had any I would have utilised them for myself 🙂

  6. >wow…you are one lucky person….I am jealous…only until I read through half of your post…and then I thought…do I really want to be u?I dont know…but you have got me thinking for sure….good post…

  7. >@Chandni: That’s so sweet. Thank you Chandni. I shall seriously consider that offer :)@UTP: I am lucky. It’s just that I could be luckier ;)@Nabila: Guess so…@Devaki: Yes Ma’am!@Monika: I know… But what is it they say about the grass being greener on the other side of the fence?

  8. >its tricky, the bit about finding our calling. i am beginning to think it’l find us, when it ought to.i work for the heck of it. for more work, i guess. they say the reward of good work is more work. works that way with me, i’d rather work for the want of having anything better to do.

  9. >@Dbum: I totally agree about the calling bit. And I’ve been working hard but I guess it hasn’t been good enough – why else would I be idle?!

  10. >as for freelancing opportunities…there are several on the internet.given your exp..u’ll get lot of work!!contact me if u want to know more…ive done loadsss of research n i keep getting offers but i keep rejecting coz i wanna start after shaadi now 🙂

  11. >I’m a newbie in your blog but still, your blog is pretty hard not to comment on.Half-way through your post, I was envious. Well, technically I shouldn’t be because I’m not ‘working’ right now. But still, in the days when I was working, I wished some idle-time when I could do stuff like reading/blogging etc. I didn’t get that.The reason why, I’m proud to say this, I’ve found my calling, is not because of the boring time at work. It was serendipitious. But I have it and I’m very happy with it. And because I too am in the ‘creative’ field, I think I can qualify to urge you to do the same.And finally, if you ‘were’ righting professionally, why not take it up. You could start just like how Chandni suggested.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s