>A House for Ms. D

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I’ve not been able to let go of ideas I nurtured as a child. And I was only a child when I got into my head the idea of an extravagant house I had to live in. Six months after my grandfather passed away, we moved out of the home built by him because it wasn’t large enough to meet our needs. He wanted it too when he was alive, but my four year old mind that had fed on some impractical filmy philosophies decided that that was the house that I’d buy back when I grew up.
Things changed over the years and I became enamoured with the concept of well-designed, palatial houses that I saw, sometimes in magazines and sometimes around me. I was a school girl when I started collecting clippings of rooms, bathrooms, beautiful homes from magazines that I thought I would refer to when I built my dream house. When we got our first computer, I learnt to use the Paintbrush software to design my bedroom. Incidentally, my bedroom now isn’t far from what I’d conceived it as back then.

As I grew up I understood the dynamics of building the kind of house I’d dreamt of. Yet when The Guy and I decided to get married, when I realised I wanted to marry this guy, the first thing on my mind was our home should look like. Yes, I was so obsessed with the idea of a house for Ms. D that not even my love could blind me. Set in 40,000 sq ft of land, the house was palatial enough, yet not even close to what I’d imagined my house to be. It wasn’t chic, it wasn’t modern. It wasn’t even ethnic. It was just over a 100 years old and and very difficult to renovate. I made as many changes in the house as I could afford to and was allowed to. But I didn’t stop dreaming of that perfect house I had envisioned all these years. I thought how I could break that wall and merge those rooms and get modular fittings for the kitchen and built that TV cabinet there; I thought when I would get new sofas and where I would set my library, the entertainment room, where the recliner should be placed and where I would place the crystal I want to buy. I thought of landscaping for the garden, little garden lights and new chandeliers. I thought of contemporary teak wood furniture and 4-poster beds…

So why am I telling you this? I’m telling you this because at this point in time I could be as close as I have ever been to that dream house or farthest from it, depending on how things shape up. As a matter of fact, our 40,000 sq ft of open space is threatened by land sharks in the garb of the government. And love as much as I may the idea of building from scratch the house I want, I hate the idea of losing the open spaces I have grown to love. I know I might never again have the chance to throw a party in the sprawling lawns of the house I live in. Or to plan the Christmas party that the huge Christmas tree in the lawn always has me thinking of. Or to just know that there’s always space to build another room if we want to.

It’s a scary feeling to lose what you have without knowing what will replace it. It’s scarier still for people in my family who’ve spent most part of their lives in this home. The worst part is that for law abiding citizens like us, it’s just not fair. It’s one thing to leave something of your own volition, quite another to be forced to pack up and leave and see your house turned to rubble for some people to park their cars there! A house isn’t just a place made of furniture and floors, walls and doors; it’s made up of memories – good and bad. It’s what you call home.

But there has to be a silver lining somewhere: a change of residence could finally end the problems that seem to have grown up like weeds in a beautiful garden and taken over the lovely flowering plants. I’m not going to let the clouds cast a shadow over my life.

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12 responses »

  1. >I love your positive attitude D. It takes a lot to look for the silver lining in every problem. I hope that your dream home becomes a reality very soon

  2. >so we’re back to being as vaguely profound as can be, eh? the only thing Ill do with our family home if I ever get it will be to burn it! that is, if i dont donate it as a graveyard before that! thats as much of respect I have for 600 yr old wood, and once royal doors… so much for patriarchal values!

  3. >@Ishqia: I hope so too.@Solitaire: It must be good, but I’m not sure.@Ab: Perhaps profound but what was vague about this post? @Chandni: It’s like an elephant: expensive to keep yet valuable.@Dbum: Good for you, really good for you!

  4. >saying wat you felt, leaving the reader guessing about wat could have caused the soliloquy! just like the ‘lie’ post… ok, more specifically, i refer to the part about u saying this could make u closest to yr dream house or farthest, or something like that…. ab

  5. >Hi ,I was reading ur blog posts and found some of them to be wow.. u write well.. Why don’t you popularize it more.. ur posts on ur blog ‘Let ME BE ME’ took my particular attention as some of them are interesting topics of mine too;BTW I help out some ex-IIMA guys who with another batch mate run http://www.rambhai.com where you can post links to your most loved blog-posts. Rambhai was the chaiwala at IIMA and it is a site where users can themselves share links to blog posts etc and other can find and vote on them. The best make it to the homepage!This way you can reach out to rambhai readers some of whom could become your ardent fans.. who knows.. :)Cheers,

  6. >Thanks for commenting on my blog and for blog rolling me 🙂 Enjoyed reading your last two posts…about the house, just don’t stop wishing, and when you do move into the house, do post some pictures here:)I have seen if we have serious goals, we automatically work towards them and achieve them, and your dream house sounds simply great. Best Wishes 🙂

  7. >when we left our house in doon in 2000, it was 80 years old.. it was a huge huge house.. not just the house, but the land that we had around the house was also massive.. infact if ever someone came and hid himself among the numerous fruit trees, we would never come to know.. I still miss that house.. Even in my dreams I see that house, though it was not my dream house..

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