>Old wine, old bottle


Last night, I spotted a strand of white in his sidelock. I’ve known him since he was 19, and the first signs of greying made me feel weird. We’ve grown up together, but growing old… it’s not the same thing.

I have always wondered, even when I was a little kid, what it must feel like to be old, to have grandchildren and to not feel young any longer… When I’d see my grandmother’s withered skin and snow white hair, it was difficult to imagine she could have ever been young. But her pretty black and white pictures from younger days made me think about what I would look like when I grew old… I even remember asking her how she felt at 60, how it felt at 60. I don’t remember what she said but it wasn’t good enough for me to not think about how I’d be at that age!

And honestly, I feel old already – older than a lot of adults around me. And I already wish I was younger by at least 5 years! And I still wonder what I will look like when I grow old, what I will be like. Will I be lonely and cranky/ content and caring/ sick and senile – what?

When I see my parents ageing, it scares me. I see they’re no longer able to walk that fast, their bodies give up sooner than they used to, their joints ache and hurt once in a while… They’re not the same and it bothers me sometimes. I’m selfish and I don’t ever want them to grow old!

I don’t want to live forever, but I’d rather die young than grow painfully old. Maybe, I’m a silly coward not prepared for life as it is. Maybe 60 will seem younger when I’m there!


8 responses »

  1. >oh ma gawd… i feel old already… at 23…well, i think it is th effect of working… and being back in class feels so good…. now, i miss those days when i was in school and college…when i didn have to worry about tomoro.. about quality.. about wasting time… about staying back after class and chatting uselessly… playing football… anything!

  2. >hey…i think i do agree with u when u say…”I’d rather die young than grow painfully old. Maybe, I’m a silly coward not prepared for life as it is.”but i’m not thinking about old age yet…we’ll cross that bridge when we get there… :)(wine gets better as it ages….who looks at the bottle..a new one could be defective as well..hai na??)cheers!;)

  3. >@Nabila: That’s being really positive!@Lover: Thank you! Still figuring out how to post it up on my blog…@Ab: I know just what you mean.@Vitruvian: You guys really are optimistic 🙂

  4. >i know…as much as we would like to say ‘live in the present’..being in ur 20’s is perhaps the bestestt. hmm..cant help getting old right..so lets just be 18 till we die, and maybe we will be!

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