>Half truths and true lies

Truth and lie. Separated by a thin line of trust. On one side of the line, every lie seems believable, on the other, no truth is convincing. All it takes to cross over to the other side is a half truth, a total lie that’s caught, transgressing the lines of faith and trust. Speaking the truth would seem like an easy task, but what secrets make it so difficult?

You build a relationship on trust and you build your trust on perceived honesty. If the perception of honesty isn’t strong enough to build your trust on, the relationship has failed. Infidelity – emotional or physical – between lovers is that failure of faith at some level.

And why just lovers? In dishing out incomplete truths and true lies, we are all infidels.
In the Mahabharata, when Yudhishthir announced that Ashwathdhama had died during war and let the bit about the death being that of an elephant and not of Dronacharya’s son drown under other sounds, was he lying? In that moment, was Yudhishthir being an infidel? Did he cheat on guru Dronacharya? Is concealing the truth not a lie?

So why do we do it – take recourse to dishonesty in our relationships? When does the ‘I’ leave the ‘us’ behind and become an ugly battle of your word against mine? Could it be possible that my truth is your lie?

And why am I asking these questions? I just realized that my most important relationship had crossed over to the wrong side of the line.

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20 responses »

  1. >Concealing a truth… I don’t know if its a lie. But I definitely know that it’s cheating on something.I have been into a few ‘friends’ who did that. {As you already know.}And it’s bad. Bad enough to dedicate a long long day to the perceived angst.And unless there was a very good reason behind it, it’s quite morose.And, I have nothing to say, so I am basically copying your writing.Suffice to say, that I can understand.And, I hope you can get over it.***No… but I would surely like to read it… who has written it?

  2. >Ya well said. Cant agree with you more. There is a very thin line b/w a truth and a lie. Again it depends on how a person views it. When the trust and the empathy is gone, the person in a relationship wont even bother to trust your honest truth.Relationships are trickier…

  3. >Concealing the truth is a form of dishonesty called deception. In the contents of a relationship crossing this line its tough to cross back. Of course when you first meet somebody you are meeting their representative.

  4. >@Prince: Thanks for understanding.@Superuknown: Yes, relationships are trickier than anything else.@Andrew: Crossing back is SO difficult! I wish people would understand that.@MAC: I wonder…I don’t think all lies are discovered. And then, who knows they were lies!?

  5. >Trust rests not in the act of speaking the truth … it lies in the faith which the person has in you… your character.Everyone has secrets… even the person who claims to be the epitome of honesty.In a relationship, trust rests in giving your partner the space for those secrets.When, that is the definition of trust, then dishonesty doesnt translate into one’s faith being rocked… but is a simple misunderstanding.We all hide…deny…even lie…but if you are honest to yourself… then u have not been dishonest to anyone.Then it is the other person who needs to rethink his views.Take care.

  6. >@Catmeister: That’s an interesting point of view… But surely, there’s a difference between secrets and lies? Between space and deceit? And how do you begin to have faith in someone’s character? And when do you stop having faith in their character? There are reasons for both and that’s what I’m talking about.

  7. >hello devanshi…well i think that hiding the truth is equivalent to telling a lie if the reasons behind doing that in itself are wrong..Infidelity is lack of commitment in the relationship..its not what u did in the past..if u are already in a relationship and u start feeling that its nothing more than just a burden its better to end it there and then rather than turning to infidelity…coz trust and truth are quite a lot related to each other…trust is built by speaking the truth and not hiding it.

  8. >Talking of Mahabharat, the God Almighty lied, cheated, nd even plotted to help his side.So is even God a criminal?Maybe so. but it tells me that its not the lying which is criminal but its byproducts like pain to others which make it so…For that matter everyday we tell ourselves lies too which we know deep inside, r not true.So does that make us criminals too…?

  9. >Honesty is a conditional virtue. That’s the truth. Honesty is welcomed only when it’s pleasing too. No one has ever been acquitted for pleading guilty. And it demands great courage to confront, accept, and respect the truth. I wholeheartedly believe the effort is worth, though the price is high 🙂

  10. >@Niraj: I agree, but how do you end a relationship with your parents or siblings? You see, my definition of infidelity isn’t just restricted to between partners.@Tanya: You’re right and those are pertinent quesations. And maybe, Lord Krishna did lose a lot of people’s trust except that it didn’t matter because it was a war between Right and Wrong. But this isn’t so much about right and wrong as about where it leads us, as you said.@Jubin: Yes, and I’ve always respected honesty.

  11. >In hind sight the complete truth will hurt far less than finding out the deception of a half-truth. Of course there is the whole risk factor of seeing if you can get away with it. Plus there is the school of thought that if you get a half truth you didn’t ask the right questionsYou are famous you should interview yourself.

  12. >We all are actors here in this world and playing a role, to lie is also role playing…. to trust is also role playing., i think its we who often cross over…. ourselves and put the blame on others for their deceitful act, ever wonder why? the person might be driven to being deceitful or un trustworthy. Whatever we give., we get back., thats my view pt.Todays world is very different from the Mahabharata days.. People were as good as their word.. but today they are MULTI FACED, multi lingustic ACTORS…

  13. >@Andrew: Truth may hurt for a while but half-truths hurt forever.@Shreya: So when somebody is murdered, have they driven the murderer to it?

  14. >Womanhood is about that, and more. Don’t you agree?Ah. Trust. I don’t know what to say about it. And I feel I have loads to say. Well, you have been reading my posts for some time now, and you know, in a way, what happened to my love-affair (I hate to call it that). And I guess that is because we never really trusted each other. He certainly did not trust me enough to be able not to lie (maybe he never could bring himself to believe in my existence); and I, after having seen through his lies once (and many a times after that), did never really trust him again. Sounds like a vicious circle, does it not? All that sort of took the life out of our relationship. Every relationship must be based on trust. Absolute Trust. But I speak like an idealist, and I hate myself for that. Wish you luck. Hope you get whatever you think is best for you.

  15. >Womanhood is about that, and more. Don’t you agree?Ah. Trust. I don’t know what to say about it. And I feel I have loads to say. Well, you have been reading my posts for some time now, and you know, in a way, what happened to my love-affair (I hate to call it that). And I guess that is because we never really trusted each other. He certainly did not trust me enough to be able not to lie (maybe he never could bring himself to believe in my existence); and I, after having seen through his lies once (and many a times after that), did never really trust him again. Sounds like a vicious circle, does it not? All that sort of took the life out of our relationship. Every relationship must be based on trust. Absolute Trust. But I speak like an idealist, and I hate myself for that. Wish you luck. Hope you get whatever you think is best for you.

  16. >“ Concealing a truth… I don’t know if its a lie. ”Basically i dont think it’s lie. but again we must be true to ourselves. I think the biggest problem we find is with ourselves. after telling lies, we all feel the guilt pangs.

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