I’m known for remembering the inanest of details about my childhood. One of them is the way my mother discouraged me from criticising someone too much. She always told me that we unconsciously imbibe the vices we hate most in others because we focus on them so much. It’s a thought that has always stayed with me. And though it might not have served the purpose my mom intended it to, I’ve always feared becoming everything I couldn’t tolerate.
I thought my grandmother’s obsession with cleanliness in the kitchen was beyond unreasonable, till I realised one day I was no different. Like her again, I’d also begun to hoard poly bags obsessively to recycle them. And just like her, I’d started making life so tough for all the house help! Of late, I’d begun to feel my grandma’s soul had come to inhabit my body!
But all that’s still alright, I think, because I loved my grandmother at the end of the day. What I really fear is that as a boss myself now, I’ll become like my ex-boss in whom I’ve seen nothing worth emulating. It’s a nightmare actually. What if I become the horror that an incompetent, inefficient, overbearing, bullish boss can be? No, I haven’t yet been described through any of those adjectives ever yet, but what if?
However, going by what mum says, the reverse must also be true. So if I concentrate well enough on all the admirable qualities of the other ‘good’ boss I had, would I be able to become like him ?