I don’t want anything to do with my birthday this year. I don’t want the cake and candles, the flowers and the phone calls. I don’t want a guest list or the gifts. I love being in the spotlight, but I do not want the attention this time. Does it sound totally ridiculous to not want a birthday at all – just this year?!
What will my birthday cake be like – chocolate truffle or chocolate & strawberry or chocolate & orange mousse or whatever? Do I really care except for their calorie count? What will I wear on my birthday. So many silly celebrations later, do I really care? What do I want this birthday? If you can’t think, why should I?
Maybe, it has something to do with growing up and realising that your birthday is just another day in the calendar. Maybe, it’s because I’m feeling fat. Maybe, it has nothing to do with any of this. Maybe, it’s the fuss that I’m fretting over. Maybe I don’t want people to make a big deal about the day I was born because these people don’t remember me on other, more important days of the year. Because my birthday party seems like just another good excuse for people to raise a toast to nothing and because I hate toasts, only this year though, and they don’t know that! Maybe, I’m just not in the mood. Maybe these are what they call birthday blues. So why can’t I postpone my birthday this year?
PS: Today is not my birthday