>Self vs the Created Self

To run from yourself, you need a lot of space; for the self has a strange knack of catching up with itself.

And so half way through our lives, we’re panting, gasping for breath not knowing what we’re running to or away from, thinking we’re moving ahead when all we’re doing is moving in circles after ourselves, behind ourselves.

I read this quote somewhere in blogosphere a few days ago and couldn’t help but wonder at how the writer had so beautifully hit on the truth. Of how so many of the human kind are so ill at ease with themselves, not knowing what to do with the way they think and act and behave.

So they, and I, we put up a facade trying to be someone we are not, trying to fit in where we don’t, even look the way we don’t. Sometimes we break free from the shackles of stereotypes voluntarily and sometimes our facade gives way, exposing who we truly are – to ourselves and the world. Sometimes, we put up a front of fighting the stereotypes when we privately play along with them, believing in them. The bottom line is we’re trying to be people we want to be and what we want to be isn’t always what we are born to be.

How uncomfortable then you can get in your own skin as you struggle to make it fit this false you. And it keeps slipping away. Somehow, the happiest people are those who are fine being who they are and don’t have to say ‘Let Me Be Me’ ’cause they are being them!
PS: If this sounds like me philosophising, well, may be I am!

9 responses »

  1. >Hypocrisy, is a way of life, nowadays. Although I do not like it as most other people; I have to put on a mask, as such, in front of the world. It’s only in front of the few very good friends in real life {whom I am thankful to have), and only in the blogosphere, that I show my real self; which is a little dangerous because I do not truly know most of the visitors to my blog.And then, it comes to the other paradox. I have not put up my real name. I have put up a ‘facade’ as you rightly put it, and have started believing in this as my one true form.I don’t think anyone is ‘born’ to be anything. {Unless, of course, that person has been genetically modified to become one ;)} We are all what we make ourselves to be…A very very true and interesting post.I can relate to this quite easily!Great work!!***I consider things written from the heart as poetry.You might want to look at my friend’ssite to find out why he said it was not poesy. But, for me it is poetry.Although I agree it can’t be so simplistic, it is a try, as such…

  2. >O yes, communicating through stories is a two-way process. It’s wonderful how grandparents always have time and patience enough to get interested in the insane stories that their grandchildren dish out with infinite seriousness.And your post. Looks like it has really got our Prince thinking, for it is only today that we were having a discussion on this topic. I can relate very well to this, almost as well as the Prince does. The masks I wear are so many that I have stopped counting them now. And I role-play through life with such ease and conviction that I fear sometimes that I am no more than my roles. But then I try to believe in what I told the Prince – that deep down somewhere, the ‘essential self’ as I call it lies unhurt by our day-to-day role-playing, lies waiting for the right moment to unfurl itself. Sooner or later, it allows itself to be found.

  3. >Prince & Aas: It is sad how we feel compelled to wear so many masks in our lifetimes. And not all of us do it with perfection making us so vulnerable to being exposed.Prince: What I mean when I say “what we are born to be” is not that we are destined to be something, but that we are probably cut out for a job better than another. And because we want to be something else, we waste that innate abbilty. I agree with you, we are what we make of ourselves.Aas: Yes, I also believe that the essential self is perpetually waiting for release and leaps at any opportunity it gets. Ye Manzilein: Well, I’m glad u’ve overcome the initial shock produced by ignorance of just how much your “backyard” has developed and not so recently. ‘The couplet you’ve quoted does succinctly sum up the gist of my post.

  4. >Yes. We are what we make of ourselves. As the Lady rightly told we were having this discussion.I am not afraid of people knowing what is behind the mask. Because, as far as I know, they have never understood that persona behind the mask.Taking the example of the mask. All masks have holes cut out for the eyes, the nose and the mouth.This shows a little bit, although not the whole of the face behind this mask.If people around us cannot even realise that the eyes are not laughing when the spoken-words do, then what is the point in removing this mask?All they see behind the mask I wear is a void.As the Lady said to me, it is just as if the mask is all. And there is no flesh behind it.Which makes for a cruel joke when I put in my school’s motto.Nihil UltraNothing beyond.***Thank you for your consideration, didi. But I am trying to get over it.And forgive my long comment.

  5. >Yes, ‘detachment’ really is the keyword. I must try and maintain it in the right amount. Doing that should have been quite easy after my years as a student of literature. I just happen to be a slow learner I guess!

  6. >Yes Yes…I know what ya r sayin and I totally relate to it…I keep asking myslef about this so many times..Why cant they be they..Why cant I be I…atleast I cant be I always…I try to run..but end being there always…always…Indeed those are lucky souls..who are themselves always…And yeah..It doesnt sound like philoshphing..Its all truth and beautifuult written by youa nice read!!!!!

  7. >The line The bottomline is we’re trying to be people we want to be and what we want to be isn’t always what we are born to be. hit me directly!!It felt like somebody just cleared all my confusions and answered some of my questions…There are still many of us, who talk and talk about Being what I am, yet by the end of the day you will be able to count atleast two momemnts where you did not say what you wanted to or do what you wanted to, be it out of sheer decency, control, lack of courage or whatever maybe the reason…We try to be somebody we are not,despite our regular deep observations and introspections into ourselves. MAybe the question is still left unanswered…WHY?

  8. >All of us have different parts to our personality, part of which will come out depending on what roll you are in at the moment (mother, student, teacher, friend) We all can be in multiple groups at the same time (political, coroporate, college student) they all have “different social norms.People should change for the better. If your not growing yourself you are dying.

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